23 things you have to give up to live happily - psychology - 2023



Being happy is one of the main goals that we human beings have, that is why many studies have been carried out to find out what makes people happy. Well, science is clear: there are activities, thoughts, behaviors, attitudes that determine how we feel.

Many times, without realizing it, we cannot be happy because we make mistakes or carry out toxic habits that negatively affect us. Happiness consists, in part, in giving up.

  • Related article: "Toxic habits: 10 behaviors that consume your energy"

Things we must give up to live happily

In the following lines you can find a list of thoughts and behaviors that we must correct to enjoy greater well-being and be happier.

1. Give up perfectionism

Perfectionism can seem like a positive thing because we can associate it with the idea of ​​wanting to do things in the best possible way. But perfectionist beliefs cause great discomfort in people, since they cause us to have too high expectations, often unattainable. Extreme perfectionism and happiness are not compatible, because this way of thinking produces anxiety, depression, low self-esteem ...

You can learn more about this phenomenon in this article: "Perfectionist personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism."

2 Give up hatred, anger and revenge

It is normal to feel hatred and anger at some point in our life, for example, when the partner leaves us. But this feeling, which can be part of the breakup phases, cannot control our life. There is nothing positive in feeling hatred towards others and wanting revenge, rather it can complicate things and make us feel even worse. Don't let hatred and anger control you.

3. Give up letting others decide for you

Human beings are social beings, and many times we want to make a good impression on others. But you cannot let these thoughts dominate you, as they will make you tremendously unhappy. Happiness is achieved by knowing yourself and fighting for what one likes.

4. Renounce to always possess the absolute truth

Although sometimes it is difficult to admit it, we are not always right. If we want to be happy we must be tolerant of others and respect their opinions and freedoms, which creates a climate of tolerance necessary for everyone to express themselves without getting frustrated. We must also do self-criticism, in the sense of recognizing our own mistakes when we have them.

5. Renounce the past

To be happy you need to connect with yourself in the present moment. We can no longer live the past, so it does not make much sense to live anchored in previous moments of our life if it is not to learn from them. Being in the here and now with all your senses is crucial.

6. Give up being too hard on yourself

It is also normal that many people are very hard on themselves, that they blame themselves for everything and that, in the face of failures, they recreate what could have gone wrong. It is possible to learn from mistakes, and things will not always turn out well for us. Be certain that there are ways to get up after a fall it is what will help us to be happy.

7. Give up negative thinking

And it is that when we do not accept that sometimes we can fail, negative thoughts invade our minds. We value ourselves negatively and our self-esteem and self-confidence falter. This causes us to paralyze instead of being in motion.

8. Waiver of complaint

Complaining out of habit does not solve anything. If we don't like something about ourselves or about a situation, we have to do our part to address the problem. The simple complaint is still a way of not facing reality and therefore makes us unhappy.

9. Give up your need for control

People who are obsessed with controlling all the events in their life They suffer from what is known as generalized anxiety, and it is that you cannot be happy if you want everything to be perfect. Imperfection is important in our life and, therefore, it is necessary to let go of excess control.

10. Give up fear of uncertainty

Excess control can lead us to fear uncertainty, to not be comfortable in those situations. situations where we are far from our comfort zonet. If we want to grow as people and be happy, it is necessary that we take a step forward and not be afraid of uncertainty.

  • Related article: "How to get out of your comfort zone? 7 keys to achieve it"

11. Give up avoiding facing problems

Resistance to face problems is one of the characteristics of a weak personality, because it is easier to blame the environment or others than to assume that perhaps something we did could have made our situation worse. Facing problems is the key to being happy and to get going to solve them.

12. Give up thinking about what others think of you

Spending the day thinking about what others will think of you can be very exhausting, so avoid constantly thinking about giving a great flawless image facing others. For example, uploading photos of your vacation to get the admiration of other people.

  • This behavior can be negative for many reasons. You can check it in this article: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you."

13. Give up the barriers you impose on yourself when changing

Resistance to change is a phenomenon that people can experience and that also is closely related to the comfort zone and the anxiety that uncertainty produces. Likewise, low self-confidence is also related to resistance to change. That is why you can follow a series of steps to improve the confidence you have in yourself and thus empower yourself in the face of the transformation of your life.

  • Related article: "How to increase your self-confidence in 6 steps".

14. Give up blaming others

Excusing yourself by blaming others is a waste of time, because does not allow you to advance. When you blame others for your failures, you do not take responsibility and you do not direct your life in the direction you want. To be happy you must take charge of your life, and this means having the ability to be responsible.

15. Waiver of self-blame

Not blaming others does not mean you should blame yourself and crush your self-esteem. You should be aware that there are good and bad moments in lifeThis will allow you to adopt a positive attitude towards change.

16. Renouncement of emotional attachment

Emotions have an adaptive function in our lives, and that is why they are and have been useful for the development of our species. But not knowing how to manage these emotions correctly can negatively influence our well-being. That is why it is necessary to know how to identify and regulate them, so that we can live in harmony with ourselves and with others.

Emotional attachment in itself is not badBut individuals not only become attached to other people, but we also do so with objects and, worse still, with our own narratives, which is called "conceptual self". Knowing how to detach from emotions is possible if we have the ability to observe, live in the present, adopt a non-judgmental mentality and treat ourselves with compassion.

  • Related article: "5 laws of detachment to be emotionally free."

17. Give up fear

Fear is a very adaptive emotion, but when irrational it can be disabling and cause tremendous discomfort. Overcoming fears is necessary to be happy.

18. Waiver of procrastination

Procrastination is the complete opposite of the phrase "do not leave for tomorrow what you can do today." It is an excuse and therefore makes you an unproductive person. This can cause problems for your well-being. For example, when you feel stressed because you have accumulated tasks by not doing them in due time.

19. Renouncement of prejudice

Prejudices can make you a miserable person, especially in those cases where you are sexist, racist, etc. According to a study conducted by researchers from the Federal Polytechnic School of Zurich (ETH), prejudiced people are socially disadvantagedThey do not learn anything new and often miss opportunities.

21. Give up judging others

Some individuals spend a lot worrying about what is happening in other people's lives. This behavior is harmful and a waste of time. Better to occupy the time on ourselves and in our happiness, as well as in developing ourselves as people.

22. Give up irrational expectations

If living in the past is bad, so is living in the future. Furthermore, if we have irrational expectations, the consequences for our emotional health can be devastating. Now, having goals in life is motivatingas long as they are realistic.

23. Waiver of social taxes

Social impositions (not laws) can cause a lot of suffering to people. The canon of beauty, getting married almost by obligation, not being able to have liberal relationships... are some beliefs that predominate in society and are classified as "good". The behaviors associated with these beliefs are socially accepted. But social impositions do not let us be ourselves and can affect our well-being. As long as you don't do anything to anyone, you reflect on these beliefs and act on your true wishes.